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I saw you there, and for some reason I can't stop thinking about it, though its not why you think it is.
I know its not a big deal, the city isn't so large, but somehow it seems such a huge thing to me.
I wonder what was the cause for that encounter, just a day early, a misunderstanding...
Just out of curiosity, my MSN is Jussimania@gmail.com. I'd really like to know why, just to know how big my problem is compared to yours. I like somthing about you, that moment ws somehow mysterious.

We have the same person, and I am very, very fond of that person. Check my profile, you'll find two leads (Actually three, but the final is a different subject). I know its not polite to be this curious, but at least I'm not directly asking this, if you are reading this, you came to me.

I am still thinking about the moment I saw you. I can't figure out any other reason than plain curiosity, why were you there? Should I have been there? What is my situation on a grander scale?

I would like to say that I love you, though I don't, but still it somehow screams from inside of me...
Quite irritating actually... I tried to ask HER, but of course all my efforts through her are in vain.
She is devoted wholly to her principles, and will never reveal anything about you. And that is also what the law tells her to do, what a shame. This is killing me, I don't know, I can't know, I shouldn't know. Still I want to. And I don't even know why!

Damn...

Röh

Kisu jäi auton alle, kuulin kun äiti käveli Siirin huoneeseen päin ja huusi että on surullisia uutisia, siinä kohdassa jo tajusin että nyt on kissa kuollut, eipä siinä muutakaan keksinyt.
Kun sitten olin Siiriä lohduttanut vähän aikaa niin mentiin ulos katsomaan sitä, luut oli muusia muttei verta missää, naama oli jossain määrin muodoton eikä kaunista katsottavaa, haudattiin se sitten lumikasaan ja surullista oli. Voivoivoi, tämä ei kyllä tee hyvää masennukselle, eikä käsitykseni luvusta 27 ainakaan parane. Hyvä että otin kisusta kuvan, muista en ole vielä saanut, kisu oli ainoa joka pysyi paikallaan tarpeeksi kauan. "sigh" :)

Se taisi olla ensimmäinen kunnon kokemus siitä että miltä tuntuu kun joku josta välittää, kuolee.
Jos tuo oli vain kissa, en halua kuvitellakaan miltä läheisen ihmisen kuolema tuntuisi.
Voivoivoi... masentaa

Onneksi pääsen huomenna LL, jännittää mutta myös pelottaa, hyvin epätavallinen scenario, varsinkin minulle. Heipä hei siis.

"Katti"

Täysikasvuinen, oranssi-musta-ruskea, vihreät suuret silmät ja valkoinen leuka ja tassut.
Ketterä, luonnollinen ruumiinrakenne, käyttäytyy hillitysti, säteilee kokemusta ja respectia.
Lyhyt karva, silitettävä, vihaa mahan rapsuttamista, tappavat kynnet ja hampaat.

"Kisu"

Katin pentu, täysikasvuinen. Valkoinen pitkä hyvin pehmeä turkki, päässä musta laikku.
Luonnollinen ruumiinrakenne, käyttäytyy hyvin rauhallisesti ja itsevarmasti. On muille kissoille tärkeä kaveri, leikkisä vain lajitovereiden seurassa. Leikkii Tikrun kanssa, silittää ja nuolee kattia.
Ei silitettävä, välttää kosketusta, hyväksyy vain mahan rapsuttamisen, ei kynsi eikä pure.
Samanlaiset vihreät silmät kuin katilla.

"Tikru"

Katin sisko, mutta hyvin nuori, melkein pentu. Samantyyppinen karva kuin katilla, mutta väritys on musta-ruskea raidallinen. Kauniit suklaanruskeat silmät, hyvin leikkisä, tosin saattaa johtua vain iästä.
Toisinaan kynsii ja puree, muttei kovaa ja hyväksyy kaikenlaisen silityksen. Tikru ihailee kattia, muttei tunne ole molemminpuolinen. Leikkii usein kisun kanssa. Aika n00b vielä ja käyttäytyy sen mukaisesti.

If you have religious beliefs or hostile emotions towards atheism, you are only ignorant.
If you have any questions about anything, please ask me, even the most stupid questions WILL be answered.

This diary is personal, so whatever you might find here, stays here.
People are curious by nature, but you do not have to tease or insult me about what you have learned from here. I again strongly doubt that anyone will ever end up reading this, but still.

"Don't hate the player, hate the game" --> "Don't hate a person, hate life"

Nine years ago, something happend. Something huge that was going to affect the rest of my life.
Last week, for the first time for nearly a decade, I felt free, but also sad and that I no longer had a true goal in life. LL changed my life, I really couldn't have believed this scenario a year ago.

I'm quite shocked about how I feel and who I feel it towards. The emotion is like it shouldn't be there, but I wouldn't give it up if I could. Things are not going as they should.
If I observe and think about our modern western values, this actually isn't that unusual, infact, almost 20-35% of males of my age experience the same.

Everything I can tell I have already written on my upperbar comment-space.
I strongly doubt anyone will ever read this apart from myself, but anyway:

Take care and have a nice day.

Kaikki kuvani on otettu naurettavan surkealla kahden MP kännykkäkameralla.

The Kingdom Of Jussimania (100 villages)

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Dense District (4)

Land Of Peace ( )
Land Of Life ( )
Land Of Death ( )
Land Of War ( )


In The Middle Of Nowhere (10)

Ultima Fortress ( )
Diamond Fortress ( )
Sapphire Fortress ( )
Ruby Fortress ( )
Emerald Fortress ( )
Platinum Fortress ( )
Gold Fortress ( )
Silver Fortress ( )
Steel Fortress ( )
Iron Fortress ( )


Far Checkpoint (5)

Final Fortress ( )
North Wing ( )
South Wing ( )
East Wing ( )
West Wing ( )


Additional Location (4)

Land Of Doom ( )
Land Of Despair ( )
Land Of Sorrow ( )
Land Of Grief ( )


Lone hill (1)

Nemesis City ( )


Spira (15)

Shrine Of Valefor ( )
Shrine Of Ifrit ( )
Shrine Of Ixion ( )
Shrine Of Shiva ( )
Shrine Of Bahamut ( )
Shrine Of Yojimbo ( )
Shrine Of Anima ( )
Den Of Tindalos ( )
Nest Of Garuda ( )
Cave Of Behemoth ( )
Pit of Ochu ( )
Bevelle ( )
Besaid ( )
Zanarkand ( )
Macalania woods ( )


Ivalice (17)

Stilshrine Of Miriam ( )
Draklor Laboratory ( )
Archades ( )
Necrohol Of Nabudis ( )
Paramina ( )
Land Of Urutan-Yensa( )
Mosphora ( )
Dalmasca ( )
Rozarria ( )
Giruvegan ( )
Ridorana cataract ( )
Balfonheim ( )
Bhujerba ( )
Cerobi Steppe ( )
Reddas Mansion ( )
Pharos Subterra ( )
Zertinan Caves ( )


Special (3)

Killer's Vale ( )
Area 28 ( )
JussiLandia ( )


Espers (10)

Sanctum Of Zeromus ( )
Sanctum Of Hashmal ( )
Sanctum Of Belias ( )
Sanctum Of Ultima ( )
Sanctum Of Mateus ( )
Sanctum Of Famfrit ( )
Sanctum Of Exodus ( )
Sanctum Of Zodiark ( )
Sanctum Of Shemhazai ( )
Sanctum Of Zalera ( )


Tamriel (10)

Cheydinhal ( )
Leyawiin ( )
Sigillum Sanguis ( )
Skingrad ( )
Bruma ( )
Bravil ( )
Oblivion ( )
Wayshrine Of Dibella ( )
Wayshrine Of Azura ( )
Wayshrine Of Mara ( )


Quickenings (16)

Maelstrom's Bolt ( )
Northswain's Glow ( )
Heaven's Wrath ( )
Ruin impendent ( )
White Whirl ( )
Red Spiral ( )
Pyroclasm ( )
Element Of Treachery( )
Fires Of War ( )
Tides Of Fate ( )
Evanescence ( )
Intercession ( )
Resplendence ( )
Feral Strike ( )
Flame Purge ( )
Fulminating Darkness( )


The Holy Land (4)

Temple Of Yevon ( )
The Great Crystal ( )
Palace Of Occuria ( )
House Of Tetramaster ( )


Business Centers (1)

Mysterious Factory ( )